Monday, January 2, 2012

Day 31 and smile comparison

I am 4 weeks post op and am having a really hard time. I cry at the slightest thing and this is totally not me. I am so tired of not being able to close my mouth. I'm tired of not eating. I'm tired of having this giant splint in my mouth. I'm tired of not getting to do anything fun with my kids. I'm tired of not being able to talk normal. I am so sensitive and feel like I look like a freak right now and I hate to go out in public but I'm sick of sitting trapped at home. I am normally a very happy person that tries to look at the positive in everything but that is so hard right now. I'm always on the go doing fun activities with my kids and I feel so trapped right now.  :(  It sounds silly but part of it is because I don't have any control over any of the things I listed above.  I hope these feelings pass soon because I don't like feeling like this.

Today I went with my husband to meet some of his friends and I wasn't sure if I should go.  They are guys and even though they know me I was worried they would be weirded out by how I sound and the splint in my mouth.  Plus they were going to eat so I would look stupid just sitting there, quiet.  I won't eat in front of most people because I look kind of silly eating.  I have to tilt my head back to put anything in my mouth so it doesn't fall or pour out since I can't close my mouth.   Against my better judgement I went.  It ended up being a mistake.  His friends like to joke around and I got overly sensitive to something one of them said.  I wasn't talking much while we were there.  One of the times I tried to talk one of the guys said, "I think we need a translator."  I stopped talking and just looked at him stunned.  I could feel that I was going to cry.  I didn't want to cry but I knew I couldn't not cry.  I turned my head into my husband's shoulder and just started sobbing.  Everyone sat there silent not sure what to do.  My husband was trying to comfort me but I couldn't stop crying.  I wanted to run away and hide back in my room again.  :(  I know he was being silly and didn't mean anything by it but I am very self conscious right now and I didn't need any jokes being said about me.  My husband ended up giving me the keys to the car and I spent the rest of their lunch watching a movie in our van.  I text my husband that I didn't want him to hurry or it would make me feel worse.  His friend tried to text me a nice apology but I wasn't in the mood to see him or any of them at the moment.  I text him back that I was self consious about how I look and sound and it was not the best time for any jokes.  I felt bad that I made him feel bad but I am so over everything right now.  I know I over reacted but like I said above, I'm totally not feeling like myself right now.

After we left his friends we picked up our kids from my moms and went to see the Rose Parade floats being made for the parade.  My husband used to work for one of the float companies when he was younger and we go every year so he can say hi to his past coworkers and so we can see how awesome the floats look getting made.  It was a nice visit.  I held my scarf in front of my mouth and felt totally comfortable walking around like that.

We usually go out to a huge event near our house for New Year's Eve every year but decided against it tonight.  I was tired and kind of afraid that it would be too cold for my face.  We let the kids stay up until 9pm so they could celebrate the East Coast New Year.  They all drank sparkling apple cider in champange glasses and yelled "Happy New Year!"   This last week has sucked most of the time and I am so ready for the sucky times to be over.  One good thing that happened today was that I took a picture of me smiling to see if there was a difference... and there was. :)  Still don't look natural smiling but so much better than before surgery and Day 19.  Will post pics to compare below.  :)  By the way, my new year will start as soon as I have this splint out of my mouth.  Soon and I can't wait.

Our tour of the Rose Parade floats

Our mini sparkling cider bottles.  The kids loved it. 

Compare my smiles in the 3 pictures below.  :)  Can't wait to see what my smile ends up looking like.

Before surgery
Day 19 smile

Day 31 smile

Day 31 pics
finally felt up to putting some eye makeup on. 

Can't wait for 2012 to be a great year.


  1. Jenn your smile looks amazing! And your swelling is much much less at day 31 vs. day 19, I see a huge difference! I'm very happy for you, I already love your new smile!

  2. Aw, thanks!! That means a lot. I can't wait until my face feels normal again. Glad my smiling is starting to look less jokerlike. It really does help to take the daily pics. Love the new you too! You are looking great.

  3. Jenn - are you experiencing a lot of nerve action? I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling but my lower lip/chin is 90% numb. I can feel more on the right than the left but it's only superficial feeling. I know I'm touching my chin when I run a finger across it but there's no sensation. I think you were saying this is like feeling the outer layers or something? Anyway, a couple of days ago, I started getting this feeling like my lip is freezing, like when you're standing out in the snow for too long. It actually hurts. Did you have this feeling at all? I think there's still some tingling going on but I'm not getting sharp shooting shocks or anything like that. Just a dull tingle everywhere. I'm on day 16. How did this compare to you at that stage and how did it change for you by day 31? I find no relief except for a slight relief from the Bed Buddy. What are you doing to make it feel better? Any tips are much appreciated!!

  4. p.s., and thank you for the compliment! I can't wait to be able to smile showing all my teeth like you! Your smile is gorgeous!!!

  5. I love your new smile and can't wait to see the final product! Your swelling has come down a LOT from day 19 to 31 and you look great. Hang in there, it will get better!

  6. Tara, my chin and lower lip are at least that numb too. I can feel me touching my chin but no sensation in my chin. It is weird. I'm sure it is the same feeling. I haven't had the freezing feeling on my chin or lip but I did with my lower teeth. I called my OS and he said it is good and the nerves are trying to come back. He said there wasn't anything I could do for it. My teeth would hurt with the air. I put a scarf around my face to keep me warm. I did get some massive pain in my whole face when it got too cold outside one day. My OS told me to keep my face warm and to wrap it up when I go out. Maybe you should try that. It looks silly but when I start feeling the slightest pain come on I put my scarf around my face and it goes away. I only get the zings in my lips and chin at night and some days I won't have any at all. Any tingle is good. I just keep my face warm and it seems to help. If it bothers too much I get in a hot shower and stick my face in the water. Good luck!!

  7. Thanks Baligirl!! I really appreciate your kind words. So jealous you can close your mouth. lol. You are looking great.

  8. Jenn, I found week 4 the hardest. Take the hugs from your family and enjoy the baths. I think I hung out in the tub for most of the week lol. Nothing seems to help except time. By week 5 I was sort of resigned to the splint(as funny as that sounds) and now tomorrow it comes off yea!
    You are looking great!