Today I went with my husband to meet some of his friends and I wasn't sure if I should go. They are guys and even though they know me I was worried they would be weirded out by how I sound and the splint in my mouth. Plus they were going to eat so I would look stupid just sitting there, quiet. I won't eat in front of most people because I look kind of silly eating. I have to tilt my head back to put anything in my mouth so it doesn't fall or pour out since I can't close my mouth. Against my better judgement I went. It ended up being a mistake. His friends like to joke around and I got overly sensitive to something one of them said. I wasn't talking much while we were there. One of the times I tried to talk one of the guys said, "I think we need a translator." I stopped talking and just looked at him stunned. I could feel that I was going to cry. I didn't want to cry but I knew I couldn't not cry. I turned my head into my husband's shoulder and just started sobbing. Everyone sat there silent not sure what to do. My husband was trying to comfort me but I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to run away and hide back in my room again. :( I know he was being silly and didn't mean anything by it but I am very self conscious right now and I didn't need any jokes being said about me. My husband ended up giving me the keys to the car and I spent the rest of their lunch watching a movie in our van. I text my husband that I didn't want him to hurry or it would make me feel worse. His friend tried to text me a nice apology but I wasn't in the mood to see him or any of them at the moment. I text him back that I was self consious about how I look and sound and it was not the best time for any jokes. I felt bad that I made him feel bad but I am so over everything right now. I know I over reacted but like I said above, I'm totally not feeling like myself right now.
After we left his friends we picked up our kids from my moms and went to see the Rose Parade floats being made for the parade. My husband used to work for one of the float companies when he was younger and we go every year so he can say hi to his past coworkers and so we can see how awesome the floats look getting made. It was a nice visit. I held my scarf in front of my mouth and felt totally comfortable walking around like that.
We usually go out to a huge event near our house for New Year's Eve every year but decided against it tonight. I was tired and kind of afraid that it would be too cold for my face. We let the kids stay up until 9pm so they could celebrate the East Coast New Year. They all drank sparkling apple cider in champange glasses and yelled "Happy New Year!" This last week has sucked most of the time and I am so ready for the sucky times to be over. One good thing that happened today was that I took a picture of me smiling to see if there was a difference... and there was. :) Still don't look natural smiling but so much better than before surgery and Day 19. Will post pics to compare below. :) By the way, my new year will start as soon as I have this splint out of my mouth. Soon and I can't wait.
Compare my smiles in the 3 pictures below. :) Can't wait to see what my smile ends up looking like.